Chocolate cream pie

Eagerly I open the fridge with one thing on my mind. I have anticipated this moment for nearly 30 seconds. I hunt for a moment there it is brushing past the cheese I grab the last piece of Chocolate Cream Pie. As I pull it out of fridge it tips over and falls. The pie hits the ground and my heart followed. I had to act fast, that 10 sec rule lasts for only 10 second! The good news, I got it all cleaned up!

Näkemiin

One Friday night while I was single, at a social gathering I was talking with some people and trying to look cool in front of the ladies (as one does when they are desperately tiered of being lonely).
I was there with about 4-5 others and standing a way from the group. There were 3-4 girls and another dude in my small circle. The dude wanted to look super cool with all his expansive knowledge about, in my opinion, nothing of use. He was dominating the conversation and making it impossible for me to get a word in edge wise with one of the lovelies. I was listening to this guy talk and he was really annoying me with his unimpressive knowledge.
It came to a head when the blabbermouth turns to me with a smug look on his face and asks flippantly, "How do you day goodbye in Finnish?"
I curtly replied "This conversation is Finnish" at that, I walked away.

Where am I?

I often wonder, where am I? Where am I?! The entity that is me, where is it? My first thought is that I might be in my head, but that is not right because, that is 'My' head. I am not in in my heart that is 'My' heart. So, where am I? Am I a free floating being that lives inside of a body I call my own? Am I free to float as seemeth me good to all parts of 'my' body? My ear, my nose ... my index finger? If in the course of vacationing to my finger it gets cut off am I gone? What would I do then? I have no mouth with which to say, "Hey, don't throw me away I am the boss!!!" I would be disposed in some biological hazard bin without even a second thought.
Are there people out there without a self because they were vacationing in a finger during a construction project and the ill fated finger was hacked down in its youth from the blade of a saw? These are just things that I wonder about.

Old West

In a funny conversation with a colleague I was told that he recently was directed/scolded to be nicer to another peer. My colleague finds this peer rather flamboyant and obnoxious. He was told that he needed to at least say hello to the other when they are in the room.
I found it funny that he was told to be cordial then in my mind I started imaging how this situation would look in different movie sense.



And Scene...
A tumble week rolls down a dusty road and the camera pans to the left revealing a sullen cowboy riding down the street in a small but busy frontier town. The cowboy is wearing a long black duster coat with the collar lifted to block the dirt from hitting his face and his hat drawn low to block the heat of beating Sun. Through the narrow space between there are sharp eyes that see all and quick ears that hear all.

Along comes bouncing a brightly colored carriage with 4 white horses. On the forehead of each horse is a fastened horn to give each embraced steed the appearance of a Unicorn. Popping down the street the driver swerves recklessly to waves wildly at all. With an eye roll people wave back then glance at one another as if to ask who was that and what was that all about. The sullen cowboy in the distance sees a wave fly his direction. He states with a nod and a raspy grumbling voice, "Acknowledged".

This could also be played out in 15th century England (Thinking something along the lines of Jane Austin). It could be set in the forbidden city China With Jet Lei and Jackie Chan. Roman Empire, Neanderthal cave, Disney's Pixar, Hip Hop Dance movie, Buddy cop film and the list goes on.

Sharks!

With kids, when I sit down to eat something, sometimes it feels like I am a person with an open wound swimming in shark infested water.

Imperial sock manufactures, why do you hate size 9 feet

Why Can't I buy socks in size nine just like I buy shoes in size nine? The package says 6-12, but what it means is size 12 and people with size 6-11 can put there foot in there too if they want to wear socks today. For that matter why not name it one size fits up to sixe 12, or infant to size 12 or something. It seems to me if you are following the size 6-12 logic, infant to 12 is not that far of a streach.

ME? I am beating the system, I always buy size 3-6 (the boys size) because although it may be a bit cramped at least i am not paying for 3 extra measurements of sock units.

I thought it I did it!

It seems to me that living for the "NOW" is hard because everything has already happened or will happen shortly. I was at a concert the some years back and this heavyer guy that was clearly to big to be croud surfing guy kept trying to crowd surf, he was kicking people in the face and doing all sorts of things that made me angry. So I says to my self,

"self next time that guy is near us, we're going to punch him."

and I replied

"Ok, self we will do that..."

When I thought about it, it was a future event that I was thinking of, not in the 'now' by any means. Then all of a sudden there was the moron that was clearly too big to be croud surfing...

I punched him in the leg real hard... and it was in the past.
What had I done?
That wasn't living for the 'now', that was living for "what just happened?"